Saturday, 23 November 2013

Have a Happy Breakup...(Move On)

Warning: I know the blog is bit longer but its worth reading for those who experienced breakups in their life. This will inspire people surely.

Why I am writing this blog?  My reason is to assist the beautiful young people who are ‘JUST stuck’ in the Relationships.
Am I qualified to write a blog as this? Well my CV gives me the confidence. I have had a few break ups. 

Can say for sure – I am representing 90% of the ‘today’s generation men’. The remaining 10 %     ( ‘True Love’ waaley Mard ) can post angry comments at me (in the comments below) as they- I know are very good at pretending to be “committed”.
So, without further ado, sidha point pe ata hu...:p

Letters starts with "abc", numbers starts with "123", Love starts with "you and me ♥ ♥".

Every relationship starts with a common filmy melodrama "The day I met you was my favorite accident and even today I love those injuries." (self sadism)

I feel very lucky when I am with you. (Kyun Bhai- woh Lux cozi hai kya? Making you feel ‘Apna Luck pehan ke chalo! :) )

My love for you is like a rose with thorns. I hold you, knowing you will hurt me. But I am willing to bleed for you.
Further – Email enabled mobile phones, Free SMS services , late night calling free (Get an Idea) , 3G and whatever G (you know what ). Ladki wait karti hai kab gyaarah bajenge aur kab Night Calling free hogi aur kab JAANU mera number milaayenge..Gyaarah Bajte hain and the phone rings and the girl screams. “Hi jaaaaaaan!!! Love you Muaaah…AUR BATAAO”… Kuch baat hi nahi hai karne ko toh aur kya batayega bechaara. . When there’s nothing to talk.
So if a relationship starts with such an intense love the breakup chances are very less (close to 1%) and even in that 1% case there’s got to be something really meaningful for them to be separated. So with mutual understanding they can separate for a better life……

Was thinking about the lives of 100′s of people & found that majority of the problems in their lives are- ‘Relationship issues’ which are ego based.

The problem starts when this need ‘to be pampered’ assumes disproportionately large sizes in our minds. Most women and men; I meet – I see them over doing things to :-

-Impress people
-Trying to be a ‘Hero / Heroine’ …

The need to feel ‘PAMPERED’ is the root cause of most of our ‘People Issues’, Emotional turmoils & Incompetencies. Remember the MOHRA song-“Mujhe Pyaar Karo..Subah se lekar Shaamtak..Shaam se lekar Raat tak..Raat se phir Subah tak..As if aur koi kaam nahi hai duniya me karne ko..If you keep feeling the need to be PAMPERED, then woh Din kabhi nahi aayega jab tum dono ek hi bachche ko PAMPERS pehnaao. You are not your ‘FB’ status that people should LIKE you…Trust me – no one is Thinking about you ! Only you are taking yourself over-seriously.

Ladies are more likely to get attracted to men with ‘a Sense of Humor’. Girls do not love SRK for no reason… Men have realized that to get a woman to love them; they need to get her laughing.Someday – the lady begins to feel – ‘Ye mard mujhe khush rakhegaa’. Ya yeh MARD mujhe DARD ke ehsaas nahi hone dega” Amul Macho type feeling! Ye to bada Toing hai !

Girls do get attracted to men with a sense of humor…But I don’t think the relationship with such men would last long, because after a while the girl will start saying things like “Aap kabhi serious kyun nahi hote ho?”…”har time mazaak ni acha lagta”…”tum mere liye serious ho ya main bhi mazaak me hi hu?”

Well I find people to be confused in their own minds- at the outset of the relationship. They want too much e.g. usually girls want that the guy should be the ‘Macho’ of ‘Rab ne bana de Jodi’ or Rahul (Khuch Khuch Hota Hai) or Akash (Dil Chahta Hai) – but Dil se they need Mister Surinder Sahni of Punjab Power (Rab ne banaa di Jodi).Aur agar – package deal mein – ‘Caring nature, Possessive attitude, 4-6 Packs, Money, Car, Good Family, Sense of Humor, Dressing sense – aa jaayein to ‘Yo Baby!’ ho jaayegaa. Isko var maala daala to life jhingalala.

Girls packing pe mat jao ; andar ka gift important hai. So – girls apni ‘eye candies’ ke liye movies ka sahara lein; aur final decision mein ‘Brain ka bhi ishhara lein’. Women expect too much. Your man can not look into your eyes daily – the same way – he did – when he did for the first time.

As I look around – I pitifully see that ‘Relationships ka spiderweb bana huaa hai’. I hear stories about one person dating 3, Relationships between cousins, extra marital, etc etc. Trust me- in sab fasaad mein –

‘Swaad hoga ; par junoon nahin hoga’ , ‘Chaska hoga ; par sukoon nahin hoga’

Your secret relationship will never treat you like a ‘Priority’; but just like an OPTION .It is much better to be single than to be someone’s dirty and miscellaneous secret. Value the ‘KISS’ approach. Imran Haashmi waali nahin – Ranbir Kapoor waali (Keep it Simple silly).

Imraan Haasmi se yaad aaya – ‘Post complete sex’ ; most relationships begin to dwindle’ . Trust me. That’s why – you must treat sex in any relationship as a sweet dish and not the main food.Ab tum sweet dish khaane ke baad- khana yaad nahin karte naa ?’

All relationships become boring after some time.

SYMPTOMS of: – When should you break up / When ‘Sweety Sweety Sweety tera pyaar NAHIN chahidaa’ / ‘Ye Dil Maange NO more now’

- You were eagerly waiting for this blog post – the surest sign of you being in dire need for a break up.

- When your FB status says – ‘It is Complicated’ – Break up. Move on

- When there is more seriousness in your conversations than laughter and lightheartedness – when throughout your meeting/ late night telephonic conversation – you maintain a stupid, constipated look.

- When you have to think before speaking your mind i.e. when you cease being yourself

- Daily fights, one gets angry and the other consoles….and vice-versa.

- When talks like these start “main pehle tumse milke bahut khush rehti thi , but ab to tum bas ladte rehte ho”…

This was the trailer of a new Daily Soap “Kahaani Girl Girl/Boy Boy ki”

-Disloyalty / Infidelity is not allowed in relationships. Number portability and dual SIM cards – whenever discovered – should be used to ban the outgoing / incoming of any kind. Usually people in such relationships say that the ‘spark is missing in their relationships- that’s why they went out’. Ab bhai – spark kahaan se aayegaa ; tumhara spark plug to kissi aur engine ko spark de raha hai

-Girls – you deserve a better man – if your man treats you just like ‘Nothing’. It is your problem then – ‘If you call him your everything’. Move on! DARR ke AAGE Dusra PREET hai ..You deserve someone better. If you cannot love yourself – no one else will ever be able to complete you.

If it is not helping you ‘Rise and be better’ ; if it is not inspiring you – WALK away… if you find yourself getting worse, day dreaming more, working less, being less passionate about your dreams – IT IS NOT LOVE. Love as an emotion, is meant to inspire – if it is not inspiring you to be better – it is a waste of time. Quit the person; as you would quit your Job – as the person is always demoralizing you. Adjustment jaroori hai ; par do not compromise your dignity and self-esteem(tedha hai par mera hai; har jagah applicable nahi hota). See if there is a repeat pattern about this thing. If it is – Cut the crap! You are beautiful – remember this. There are many beautiful concepts waiting for you. Go and claim. One life ! Rise & Shine ! (chain se sona hai to jag jao…..aur us gadhe ko chhod ke; kisi aur ke sath bhaag jao)

Don’t always keep doing Ctrl S (Saving) for everything in life- especially a relationship that you most certainly need to Ctrl + Alt + DELETE. Jab kuch galat hum likh dete hain, usko delete karna chahiye, save karke apne dimag ka hardware crash nahi karna chahiye. (DIMAG KA DAHI NA KARE aur lassi to bilkul hi na banaye )

The moment you think – “I was happy being single” THIS is the moment you should be one. If you believe there is a reason why you met the person, you should also believe that there should be a reason why you must break up. Take the learning and ‘Move Ahead’; while you prepare for the right one. That’s it. Do not visit their FB Profiles time and again. Kyunki khuch daag achay NAHIN hotey. Dho Daalo !

As Oprah Winfrey said it so finely – ‘Some people are going to leave. But that’s not the end of YOUR story. It’s the end of THEIR part in your story’.

I cried every time; when I broke up with my favorite lady. I thought – the world has fallen apart. I loved those ‘Judaai’ songs then. ‘ISHQ AB KARIYO NA type ke gaane sunta tha…’ But – read carefully next – ‘I do not even know – where those ladies are these days and they have mothered whose child?’Faaltu mein senti huaa / Apna time barbaad kiyaa. Aaj jab wo kissi aur ke ghar ki bijli banni huin hain – it wasn’t worth naa then??

Remember – ‘Jawaani ke bahut kum rishtey aapkey pati / patni bantay hain’. Sab pe menti-sental nahin huaa karte’. Apni bijli khud bachao (Ye vishesh soochnaa- Janhit mein jaari)….

If you cannot ‘Love’ yourself – trust me – ‘there are many more break ups waiting to happen in your life’. Counting start kar do. Sansani

Ladies & Gentlemen – If you’re worrying about your love life and your ‘marks in board exams’ at the same time; trust me – you are too young for the former. Saari zindagi yahi to karnaa hai. Abhi zyada zaruri padhna hai … DIL TOH BACHCHA hi RAHEGA JI (Personally experienced)

Sunday, 17 November 2013

Wo Rat Bewdo Ke sath ( Philosophy Of Bewdes)

I have just experienced a really interesting Drink Session with my  friends in recent night out, which proved Bewdes are great  philosophers.

Since I left drinking ( no particular reason :p), I enjoy the Drink  Session seeing my friends doing  strange things after getting drunk.

I tend to have quantity of food on night out. ( Yes, a cheap date as  per my friend’s opinion)

It has struck me, though, that ‘getting drunk’ has recently become  very a la mode for Indian teenagers. This was not always the case, since this was my first  night out without getting drunk  and enjoying “Philosophy of Bewdes”.

Now I have many friends who wont meet me for a cup of tea or  coffee. They meet only to drink  whisky. 

Let me share the experience of how I got to know about Philosophy of Bewdes. Recently I have  been to house party where bottles of spirits are pilled on the table  and people drink whisky, vodka, rum, etc. ( jyada stock nai bas  yehi kuch 3-4 khambe for 6-7 people). If you say you are not drinking, you are considered lame. 

Now the party started. One friend said to me, “ Aj tera bhai gala gila karega bohot dino ke bad”.  Everyone raised their glasses full of whisky and said “cheers”. In  my group usually every peg they make is small, Philosophy behind  it is-” They want to play long inning (drink till the morning)”.

As everyone enjoying their drinks, suddenly one of my friend got a  call so he went to a gallery to  talk and after some 15 mins, when he entered he literally took  whisky bottle and started drinking  neat whisky from bottle saying, “ Are bhai shot hogaya” and ye hua and wo hua, bla bla bla. After some time he went to bathroom and  showed his “Kalakari” by painting walls of the bathroom with red  and yellow of vomit :p. Every group has some inebriated person that could show his artistic  skills in bathroom only, by drinking so hard. Philosophy behind it  is-” The speed at which you get drunk depends on how much you  drink, not what you drink. It is completely based on your stamina  and how you tolerate heavy drinking.”

After he lost his sense we tried to let him sleep, assuring him  everything will be alright tomorrow. 

And now the party came back on track, again everyone started  enjoying. Suddenly one said, “ Are kya ek dusre ko dekhake pi  rahe ho. Koi gana bina bajado. “, he put on lappy and played some sad songs. After 10-15 min one of my friend got emotional and said, “ Tujhe to pata  hena meri girlfriend ka story, she  cheated on me yar. I missed her so much, I cant live without her,”  Other friend replied, “ Are bhad  me gayi teri Girlfriend , puri utar di tune meri, She was a slut ,  forget her”. Philosophy Behind it is-” In every drink session getting emotional, talking about problems and regretting about bad  experiences is must. And many don't really bother about others      problems rather they want to  concentrate on drinking.”

Then one friend said getting hardcore drunk,” Are yar ciggi khatam hogaya he, chal bike pe jake  leke atehe”. And since i was the only person not drunk he took me with him. I said, “ Chal piche  beth jaldi jake leke atehe”. He said, “ Aj tera bhai bike chalayega,  beth piche”. I was shocked this was happening as he was the driver. My only option of survival, short of jumping out, was to stay  alert and act as backstreet driver, keeping my eyes glued on road.  He said he ‘ did this all the time’. Once we reached he was unable  to park the bike on slope. He said, “ Are mera 1st gear  ka  problem he dekhna bike upar hi nai jaraha.” I said,” Clutch to chod Chu***”. Philosophy Behind  it is- “ Not one Indian man I know who drinks and drives thinks there is anything wrong with it,  despite high profile cases of drunk drivers killing people in Mumbai being splashed over the front pages of the  papers on a regular basis.”

When we reached home safely, everyone was dancing on some  house mix. After some 2-3 hours when every one lost their senses all started sleeping. Then in morning its time to go home.  But big problem was “ The Hangover”. One friend said,” Are yaar dimag ke lage pade he.” Other  friend replied, “ Nimbu nichod ke pi panime.” Philosophy behind it is-” In our session we learnt  that black coffee and cold showers cannot cure hangovers. The only thing that can is patience – waiting for the alcohol to be removed from your system by your   liver. Nothing can be done to  speed this up. The way to avoid to getting drunk is to eat food when drinking, never drink on an  empty stomach, and put your drink down, don’t hold it, as you will drink less. And instead of  boozing, you should focus on dancing or chatting and other  activities at parties.”

Whole experience for me just to watch and observe what they were doing. Indian teenagers  currently have social problems like binge drinking(heavy episode  drinking), drunken unplanned  pregnancies, and drunken brawls are commonplace. Luckily there  is a lot of focus on dancing at  parties, and many teenagers anyway don’t drink. But many of the modern yuppie aspiring elite  teenagers do drink. A lot. With increased wealth and money, comes a lot of new social problems,  and teenagers needs to brace itself for those. The perceived need  for Adidas, nike and ipods is  already accompanied by a perceived need for imported spirits, wine and beers. There is nothing  wrong with drinking booze, provided it is done in moderation.
But the shift might soon be from worrying about slums and the homeless on the streets to needing Counselor for depression, relationship breakdowns and alcohol and drug abuse..

Morale- There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who  don't drink and people who collect stickers.