Can’t Imagine a Life without Internet

Have you ever felt absolutely alone, as if the world has come to an end, and time has stood still?

Yes, that is exactly how I felt when my MTNL internet connection decided to take a break last night exactly when the clock struck 12. I being a night creature was left stranded in a deserted island. Everyone was asleep, I had finished all the good books, could not find the newspaper.

I tried to play Angry Birds but every few seconds I kept checking for the little blue blinking sign that shows whether the internet is up again. Alas, my hopes were dashed.

I finally woke up with  important questions

What did people do back in days when there was no internet?
How did everyone pass their time?
How did people know what is going on in the world?
How did people work from home?
How did they get important work done when there was no email?

 

For someone like me for whom the internet going down is a scarier phenomenon than apocalypse, I can’t help wondering what people used to do in pre internet era. The first word comes in mouth when internet is down is” WTF”. I can’t imagine a life without internet thinking how people “had a life” (a very direct reference to my obsession with the computer, laptop, smartphone and the internet). And when I put on detective caps on to see what people do when internet is down .

And here are the top things in our list!

Turn into a poet/Writer/Painter

What could be better than getting into the sad mood while penning down lines for your lady love? Most of the people we know take out their pen (writing pen don’t take different meaning.. P) and notebook (the real notebook, with papers and all) and write lines or draw something on life and sadness, the world and love and so on. And as soon as the internet comes back to life, all that is heaped on their shelf. Love and life are not on top of priority list after all.

Ransack the fridge and kitchen

This sin list includes me. Food and computers are always in a race to get to the top of my list of favorite things in life. And it happens with a lot of us. Care to disagree with me? Well, try not to run to your kitchen the next time you take a break from the computer.

Call up the service provider and get crazy

This should actually be the first thing you do, but we generally take a food break when the signal goes down. Once when the internet went down for more than half an hour, my friend called up the infamous service provider but the answering machine said,” Ap katar mehe apka call hamareliye mahatvapurna he, shigrahi apka call hamare grahak pratinidhi ke sath jod diya jayega.”and when a lady picked the call he gave her a piece of his mind. It was a pretty impolite monologue. When finally after five minutes of absolutely exhausting his vocabulary, he was consoled by the lady on the line, he could mutter out a thank you. People around him thought something really tragic had happened, the way he was talking on the phone. His BP(blood pressure) must have risen considerably during those precious waiting moments till the net turned back.

 

Go on a walk with your pets

Grumpy the cat would not do that with you, but goofy the dog would love to drag you off the screen for some time. Next time, don’t wait for him to bribe the service provider into cutting your connection; take your dog on walks regularly.

 

Have a life

This includes meeting real people, going on a date with a real girl, meeting up with friends in a bar and doing normal people stuff. Enjoying the sunshine and rain and sometimes the winter chilly winds. But yes, it means getting up from the chair and getting in touch with the real world.

 

Sleep

Though this might not sound exciting, but a computer person (in my vocabulary, A computer person is one who is perennially married to his/her computer/laptop/desktop and refuses to move their bums from their chairs to even get a glass of water.) only leaves his beloved computer to sleep or answer nature’s call. And when the internet goes down, they get an excellent reason to reboot their brains with a long nap.

 

Curse, Abuse, Get violent

This paragraph has A Rating – At times when a man/woman gets frustrated beyond measure they may resort to unusual behavior like holding you by the collar and calling you ungodly names and accuse you of stealing their only guilty pleasure in life – the internet. They may also break a few pieces of furniture and demand the CIA or FBI or CID or some high tech agency to look into the matter and get their connection fixed immediately. In times like this, we suggest you take a chloroformed napkin and knock the person unconscious till things return to normal.

Last But Not the Least :P :D

If anyone asked you ,” Agar net sachime chala gaya to hum kya karenge??”

Ans:-Hawan Karenge, Hawan Karenge….

Hehe…

 

Moral:-My research has shown that internet addicts are as bad as drug addicts. Even though people can be put into rehabs where they can learn to live without those chemicals, it is next to impossible to make us internet addicts live without this. And as far as “having a life” is concerned, heaven forbid if we are forced to have one without the almighty cyber world.